CFA Musings
If you know me, you’ve probably been spammed about the fact that I passed my CFA Level III exam. There’s probably also a good chance that I’ve brought it up in our conversation.
I received the news of my completion of the CFA Program about a week ago. And I still think back to the moment that I received my results. The relief still lingers.
What the heck is the CFA?
CFA stands for “Chartered Financial Analyst”. It’s a designation for investment professionals who passed all three exams and have certain amount of investment work experience. Not many people who start the process end up receiving the Charter. It’s one of the hardest exams in my industry.
So what’s the big deal?
Given the Charter is not required to practice finance in most countries, it’s surprising how coveted it is. I’d attribute the following reasons why people take it, among other things:
- CFA is so comprehensive in its curriculum that if you have the Charter, I’d assume you know your finance fundamentals (whereas I cannot assume that for business school grads);
- If you are doing the CFA while working, it shows that you can grind. One of the biggest hurdles of the CFA Program is that it is so demanding in terms of energy and time, that working a full-time job and studying afterwards means you’re grinding non-stop;
- Education inflation: trying to stand out in a sea of over-educated peers and competitors;
- It’s just nice to have the “, CFA” credential behind your name.
You’d think it’s just an exam, so why am I making a big deal about it?
Well, I’ll tell you why I wouldn’t call this pursuit a “journey” as an understatement.
Charter Pursuit: Level I (2018)
There are three exams in total, and you can only take the next level once you pass the previous one.
Every single exam was an ordeal, because this shit is kinda hard! When I signed up for the Level I exam, I started studying only two months prior, because I thought, it’s just an exam. I wrote tons of those in university. I thought two months should be plenty of time. Boy, was I wrong.
Only later after signing up for level one, did I find out that the CFA mantra is to study 300 hours. Basically, the wisdom from the street is that the average number of hours to study to pass for each level amounts to ~300.
Let me paint a picture for you. It means, if you were to study over the span of 2 months, you have to study for 5 hours per DAY (300 hours divided by 60 days). FIVE hours.
So when I found out about that, I realized I was f*cked. At the time, my Level I exam was scheduled for Dec. 1, 2018, in Hong Kong. I had just relocated there after graduation in Aug. 2018, and I got myself an apartment, and started a new job there. In the first months I was struggling with the demanding nature of a full-time job and getting my life together in a new country.
And I really did not want to fail, because I didn’t want to be the new hire who can’t even pass level one of an exam.
But, I had to put my day job first, so I’d only study during lunch break or after work. At the time, I didn’t have a good desk back in my studio, so I’d stay in the office to study, also because I had another work buddy taking the same exam as me, so my misery loved some company.
I’d finish work around 6 or 7pm, get dinner downstairs, and come back to my desk to study until midnight. Go home, shower, sleep. Then next day wake up at 7am to go to work. Next day the same dance continues.
Towards the last month before the exam, I’d wake up at 5:30am to get some studying in before work, because there just isn’t enough time in the day, and there were too much materials to cover.
How I allocated my time in the last month was very easy: work, study, eat, sleep. If there is an extra waking hour in my day, I’d fill it with one of those four things.
There is literally no time for anything else. Imagine working 8–9 hours a day, then 4–5 more hours of studying. Add some more time for commute, cook-eat-clean, sleep, and the day is done.
I had never studied so hard for an exam, never in my life. And, I’ve never felt so tired in my life either. I’d touch the pillow at night, and I’d sleep right away.
Charter Pursuit: Level II (2019)
I wrote Level II in June 2019. After learning my lesson from Level I, I started four 4 months earlier and stuck to a meticulous schedule.
I don’t remember much during the studying process, other than the fact that I was quite focused. My then-boyfriend came to visit me in Hong Kong and I don’t remember paying him much attention.
It also helped that I temporarily relocated to another office building far from downtown, such that I actually could not meet up with people at lunch or after work, so I could continue the “work, study, eat, sleep” cycle without much disruption. It was a blur.
Charter Pursuit: Level III (2020–2021)
People say Level III is the easiest, but don’t believe them. Level III has a lot to do with portfolio management, which ties all Level I and II materials together. It assumes you’re already a finance professional worth their salt.
I had originally signed up for the exam for June 2020, then after one month of studying, COVID-19 became a thing, and it got cancelled. All the better, I was in the middle of relocating back to Canada. So then I tossed all I had learned out from my head into thin air.
I signed up for the next exam in Dec. 2020. I started studying for 2–3 weeks in September, but it got cancelled again. So, again, I tossed all I had learned out from my head into thin air. All the better, I just started dating my current boyfriend. Man. Those 3 weeks were tough. I’d get off work at about 6pm, study til 10pm, then hangout with him til late past mid-night. If I come back earlier, I’d study a bit more before bed. Next day repeat. So when my exam got cancelled due to COVID again, I breathed a sigh of relief.
Next date was May 2021. After two false starts, I started to really study again in March, thinking that I’d have enough time.
I had just started a new job, but working from home really freed up time. I didn’t think the studying was that bad until one month prior to the exam, when I found out that I had been studying out-dated materials.
The CFA Institute curriculum consists of actual textbooks that goes into such levels of details that one must be puritanical to actually read. So, going by conventional wisdom (by that, I mean word of mouth, and my very occasional Reddit browsing), I’ve always used third party study note providers. They served me well in Level I and II.
And I never bought these myself. I’ve always just used the prior year’s version, which is more easily obtained. I knew there were changes year-over-year, but I just didn’t think it was a big deal.
For Level III, I continued with using the prior year’s third party materials, until one day when I decided to watch a YouTube video on the difference between curriculum editions. Basically in that 10 minutes, one month prior to D-Day, I learned that ~40% of what I’ve studied is basically irrelevant.
The next month was just a panic catch-up of all the new materials.
I walked out of the exam neither confident nor dejected, but as days passed, anxiety started to settle in. I think it’s just because since it’s the last exam, the stakes are higher. I just really wanted to get it done and over with.
Level III results took about 11 weeks to come out. There were only literally two days that I did not think about exam results. The rest of the days, I just kept thinking and thinking about the mistakes I made, and I kept trying to guess the minimum passing score and my pro-forma score (I even made a spreadsheet with my forecast of my base case, downside and upside score).
I kept browsing Reddit and Discord forums to see how people felt. I know — it’s insane that I did that so frequently after the exam. But you’d be surprised to find out how many people felt the same as me. Sometimes I just wanted to go on Reddit to check in mentally that I am not alone to feel anxious about it.
Stress and Struggles that Seep and Spill Over to All Areas of Your Life
It’s not just the studying that makes the Program difficult. When you’re that tired, you just have less cognitive and emotional control, and the stress doesn’t help either.
The after-effects were pretty strong too. I noticed that for a few months after the Level I exam, I had periodic stomach discomfort, likely from sitting at my desk too long (7am to 12am is a long time to sit, particularly with bad posture). This is why ever since then, I came to like standing desks.
The exhaustion also doesn’t recover right away. You catch up on sleep for a few weeks after.
I recall during Christmas 2018, after my Level I exam, I went to Japan for two weeks for vacation. Looking at the pictures, my eye bags were still there; and I recall that trip as a pretty lethargic one too.
In the summer of 2019, after writing my Level II exam, I ate like shit for two months. I went to Jeju Island with a good friend of mine in July, and I recall the conversations being sober and non-energetic.
In the last two months, after my May 2021 exam, I started having trouble waking up in the morning. Maybe it is because I am working West Coast time so I am not obligated to wake up early, but still, I’ve never slept in for so many days in a roll. I just found myself not being able to get up because my whole body felt heavy.
And all this time, from the Level III exam end-date until the day I received the news, I could not stop thinking about it. It was almost a sickness.
Why I Wanted to Pass so Badly
A myriad of reasons.
Obviously, it’s a nice affirmation of hardwork and knowledge.
And when I was negotiating for my salary, I lowkey mentioned that I was on track to receive the Charter if I pass Level III.
More importantly though, I wanted to get it over with so I can move on to other things. I missed working on my hobbies. I missed exercising sports. And to be frank, I wanted to spend more time focusing on my work. I wanted to use my spare time to learn about investing infrastructure and renewable resources (my line of work). As long as I have to study for the CFA, those things would have to be pushed back.
I know, it isn’t the end of the world if I fail. I can always do it again. But I really really don’t want to.
I’ve done this CFA rodeo three times by now, and it pains me to envision anymore of this rigorous studying. I can do it if that’s the only thing I am responsible for (i.e. if I were a full-time student), but not with a full-time job.
It’s a vortex that sucks all your spare time, mental and physical energy, and social life. There is no guilt-free free time.
I think I’m lucky in the sense that I’m at an age where I don’t have other important priorities (e.g. family), so I’m so happy that I’m finally done with this.
Why Couldn’t I Let It Go?
I feel like I was so caught up with the results to a point that I got annoyed at myself.
I thought I wanted to face the world with a cool indifference. I signed up for the exam but I didn’t sign up to feel like this.
I hated living with this chronic anticipation and anxiousness. Sometimes I wonder how people go on living with chronic conditions, like unbreakable chains on their feet, like unliftable weights on their wings.
Then I’d start to think, life is suffering, says the Buddha. As long as you live there will be inevitable suffering.
Then I’d remind myself this is just a f*cking exam. Not even a mandatory one. What a f*cking joke.
It made no sense to me.
I talked to my work coach about this, and he reminded me that we must let go of things outside of our sphere of influence. If we cannot control something (the results after I’ve written the exam), there is no use worrying about it.
Somebody also said to me, there’ll be more important things in life. There’ll be more hardships, whose outcome you cannot control and the stakes are much much higher. This is just an exam.
I know all this! Trust me, I know the theory. But I argued that I kept thinking about it to prepare myself for potential failure. I wanted to envision the scenario of failure and set up a proper mindset when it comes.
So maybe I just have trouble dealing with failure? Because I didn’t walk out of this Level III exam feeling comfortable, as I somewhat felt for Level I and II.
Maybe I felt regretful about the fact that I didn’t study as hard as I could have?
Maybe failure would come in conflict with the identity I’ve shaped for myself? Or maybe I just wanted to appear competent in front of my new colleagues?
Anyway, all that said, I hope you can understand why I was so damn elated when I passed.
As days go by, the memories of the anxiousness and stress dissipate faster and faster, as if I’ve taken off the runway and the memories are still on the ground.
Overall though, I am really glad that I took the exam. I really think it helped me understand the industry more, and it definitely lent me a helping in my career. I’d recommend it to anyone who is planning to take it (but take it at your own risk).
Anyway, onwards.
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Disclaimer: Although I have finished all three levels of the CFA exam, I have not yet received the Charter, which I will have to apply for and will be subject to other conditions and reviews. All opinions and assertions expressed in this blog are mine only.
